DER CHRISTKRINGELKRIEG--OR DIE SCHLACT BEFORE XMAS--REVISITED

 

 Scene of action in Kringleland last Yule.

 

As is our annual tradition at this time of year, we to check in on the goings on in Kringleland. For those new to the blog, or who may just wish to refresh themselves, in our Yule-time post of last year we conveyed a brief history of Kringleland, and the source of the animus between Oberkringleburg and Unterkringleburg, which manifests itself in a conflict known as the Christkinglekrieg at this time of year.  

In last year's report, the doughty Unterkringleburgers raided Oberkringleburg in their rough and ready manner: man-to-man, with snwoballs (schneeballs) in hand. The Oberkringleburgers, eschewing such primitive notions of romanticized warfare, met them with their Schneekannone, manned by technicians, pride of their unabashedly unromantic, "high tech" approach.

Above: a rash Unterkringleburger on the receiving end of a Weissball shot from Schneekanone #2 during last year's action. Like most, last year's action was seasaw affair that ultimately was a wash (such is the state of nature in Kringleland). Nevertheless, having grown tired of the asymmetry the confict, the Unterkringleburgers have sought to redress the technological disparity...

...and chosen their man of the hour, the Unterkringleburg Munitionbakermeister, with his grand chef's hat, to take up the great task.  Let us follow along on this historic journey...

...still being in touch with the Gute Alte Zeit ("Ye Goode Olde Dayes") as most in Unterkringleburg are, his quest begins in the Weihnachstbaum Wald (where else?), where he seeks out the counsel of der Gross Schneemann, who in turn advises him find those master artificers of the forest, the Krupp Kleinerkringlevolk... 

...and as if on cue, a journeyman of the Kleiner Kruppers (as they are known colloquially) comes journeying past (strange and mickel powerful are the ways of der Gross Schneemann)...

 ...and with the intercession of der Gross Schneemann, he agrees to guide our hero to the Krupp Kringlewaffenfabrik, their famous workshop of legend deep in the forest...

...where he meets with the Kleinkringlevolkwaffenfabrikmesiter himself, who then consults his great Kringlewaffenbuch for inspiration. After hours of haggling, an agreement is reached, and the Kleiner Kruppers begin production on the Unterkringleburg Wunder Weapon...

...the Krupp Stollenwerfer! --a rugged, simple to operate, multi-barrelled, crew-served weapon capable of delivering a high volume of the sugary Christmas loaves on target...

...upon receipt of the first prototype, the Unterkringleburgers waste no time in training a first crew. In the above, we see a lad learning the role of Stollenfeuer Kannonier, leaning in to touch his match to the fuse to launch a spread of primed stollens downrange....

...while another performs the task of Pudzerzuker Kannonier, whose job it is to continuously sprinkle powdered sugar over the about-to-be-launched loaves in order to replace any that was lost during the loading process...

...taking things even further, the Meisterbacker has initiated a home-grown improvement program (albeit under license from the Kleiner Kruppers).  In the above, we see his able assistant, the Munitionsmeisterbackerhelfer, supervising the Munitionstollenlader (ie, stollen ammo carrier), who is bringing out a new prototype for testing...

..der Flugelstollen--the fin stabilized stollen!

In order to buy time for production and crew training, the Unterkringleburgers have worked out a truce for the current Yule season.  From long experience, however, the Burgomeister of Oberkringleburg (above) remains suspicious, and senses that something is brewing. He will ensure that Oberkringleberg is on guard and ready when the truce expires, come what may!

 

In the meantime....

 

...Seasons Greetings to All for NOW!

⛄