DER CHRISTKRINGELKRIEG REVISITED: THE TRUCE EXPIRES!

 

Ober and Unter Kringlelanders having at again. 

Seasons greetings, dear readers. It is that time of year again when we check in on the goings on in Kringleland, scene of a long simmering conflict between Oberkringleburg and neighboring Unterkringleburg. At some point in the past, these two burgs became progressively more alienated from each other, leading to a period of open conflict each year during the Yule--a holiday snowballfest known as Der Christkringelkrieg. The exact roots of this animosity are murky, but most agree that it generally started when the denizens of Oberkringleburg adopted a heavily affected dialect they called Hochkringlesprache and started to refer to themselves as Hochkringlemenschen. They also then began looking down their noses at their neighbors in Unterkringleburg, referring to them as Unterkringlemenschen and calling their speech Unterkringlesprache. Of course, the good burgers of Unterkringleburg did not take this well. To them, the Oberkringleburgers had become effeminate posers, and they and their honest, unaffected Unterkringleburg dialect remained the true Kringlelanders. Each year, these folk take the opportunity that the plentiful snow cover provides to reinforce their points of view with an exchange of snow--tossed in many forms. For those with time on their hands, a review of the action can be had in the Dec 23 2020 and Dec 22 2021 posts. Read on for this year's news...

But first a brief summary to set the stage for this year's report...as you may recall, last year, an uneasy truce held.  However, the Unterkringleburg Munitionbakermeister (above) used this pause to seek out the Kleiner Kruppers in order to have them produce an Unterkringleburg Wunder Weapon...

...something to offset the Oberkringleburg Schneekanone... 

...and so was born the Stollenwerfer, a simple to operate, multi-barrelled, crew-served weapon capable of delivering a high volume of the sugary Christmas loaves on target. This the Unterkringleburgers put into mass production to be ready for this year's Christkringelkrieg.

Suspecting fellow that he is, the Oberkringleburg Burogmeister got wind that the heretofore low tech Unterkringelburgers were working on an advanced weapon. Thus, he ordered accelerated production of their advanced Schneekanonen to be ready in time for this year's Christkringlekrieg...

...and so the Chrstkringlekrieg was renewed this year with extra gusto.  The usual foot sloggers and their hand-tossed Schneelballs were there aplenty, but now the air was filled with an unprecedented number of projectiles shot from the newly fielded Stollenwerfers and a vastly increased number of Schneekanone. Having such a grand time launching these many and varied things at one another, neither side was interested in a truce, but they were kicking up quite a ruckus...

...and this elevated discord did not escape the notice of the Klein Elfen, also known as the eyes and ears of Kringleland, also known as the Hinterhaltiger Mensch (sneaky fellows)...

...it was not long before word made its way to Der Grosse Elfe, who dispatched a runner deep into the Weihnacthsbaum Wald to report to...

...Herr Excellenz Die Chef Weihnacthsmann (His Excellency the Chief Santa)...

...who gathered the Unterweihnacthsmanner for a Weihnactsmannerkongress.  So unprecedented was the racket this year that they all agreed that something had to be done...

...and so the Signaliereweihnactsman (Signal Santa) was called for, who then mounted the Hochweihnactsburg--the highest point in Kringleland--to mobilize the Weihnactsmen Reaktionskraft (Santa Reaction force)..

...and within minutes, the Raketefliegenderweihnactsmanner (Flying rocket santas) were scrambled and airborne...

...and the Weihnactsmannbarenreiter Uhlans (Bear riding santa lancers) were riding from their Kaserne, Fisch Lanzen at the ready.  Soon the air and ground santas would arrive on the scene and separate the Ober and Unter Kringleburgers, ending this year's Christkringlekrieg and bringing on the Stille Nacht...

...And Seasons Greetings to All!

⛄